When death strikes

Hi,

my grandmother died today. She had cancer and was in a bad shape for several months now. And today was just the day when she died. I last saw her on Saturday. So only like two days ago, so that's good, that she saw me and I her before it happened. The suprising think is, I'm not really feeling anything... Sadness, or anything. I just feel normal... Does that mean that I'm cold blodded  and uncaring, or does that mean that my relationship with her was not as good as I thought? To be honest, I think that it's the first option...

Frankly, I alway was kinda detatched... From reality I mean. Whenever something happened in the real life, I didn't even so much as flinch, however, if my favourite character in a book, game, movie died, I'd cry... Is it wrong? Probably... But there is nothing I can do about it. I just don't know how to be a loving caring person... 

Well... At least the death was quick and peaceful. At least, that's what my mom said. From what she told me, she was there. Even though I'm not sure she was there for the exact moment. I myslef wouldn't have been able to be there as I was in school working my brain with math and programing... Oh well... You know how it goes. Remember the good about the dead and let the life go on... 

See ya.